Having sex for the first time was like having questions like how to do it? what step to take next? how to maintain hygiene? Does it hurt? and many more. Even being anxious about your sexual performance is natural but there are some ways you can beat that anxiety without having to point out any resentment to your partner. This anxiety often results in depression and may also somehow deter your future sexual performance. And the repercussions thanks to excessive mental pressure are understood to all.
Causes of Sexual Performance Anxiety
Sex is more than just a physical response. Your emotions have something to do with it, too. When your mind is just too stressed to think about sex, your body can’t get excited either.
Lots of different worries can cause the problem:
- Fear that you won’t perform well in bed and satisfy your partner sexually
- Poor body image, including concern over your weight
- Problems in your relationship
- Worry that your penis won’t “measure up”
- Concern about ejaculating too early or taking too long to reach orgasm
- Anxiety about not being able to have an orgasm or enjoy the sexual experience
These things may lead your body to release stress hormones like epinephrine and norepinephrine.
Here are some tips to deal with first-time sex anxiety
1. Ask yourself, are you ready?
The first thing is first ask yourself whether you want to do it or not. It’s ok if you don’t want to do it. Be confident about what you feel, don’t just get in the word of your partner. Discuss with your partner what you want and what you don’t because until you know what your partner wants it would be complicated during the Intercourse.
2. Educate yourself
Being prepared is a must before having sex whether it is your first time or the 100th time there will be people who say that let it flow naturally, ya sure but keep in mind some basic things like methods of protection, sexually transmitted diseases, sexual intercourse and all of it. Having fun without any fear is what you want!
3. Understand consent
Discuss with your partner what you want and get a hold of what he/she wants. Don’t keep on insisting on things if he/she wants then they will tell but if they had said NO then it MEANS NO. Reconsider if you feel unsafe even during the movement because it is about you.
4. Do not be too conscious about your body
Due to excessive exposure to different media platforms where we see extremely good-looking people with perfect bodies. We mustn’t look down upon ourselves if we do not meet the standards set by society. It is okay if you do not have an ideal body. Such notions take a toll on our psychological state and sometimes result in depression. However, it is important to keep yourself healthy and it is advisable to take care of your body to keep yourself away from deadly health hazards.
5. Consult your sexologist
While mental pressure and emotional unpreparedness are among the prime reasons for your first-time anxiety and stress, there might be some physical issues that may cause deterred sexual performance. Erectile dysfunction could be one of the reasons behind this lack of performance but it can be treated by certain easy-to-do remedies. You should consult a sexologist if the matter continues.
6. Don’t stress too much
It is important to stay calm and composed during sexual activity. As mentioned earlier, it is quite natural to be anxious and fearsome about your first sexual experience. According to health experts, staying calm and peaceful not only boosts your performance but also helps you stay positive and filled with energy. You can also relieve yourself from stress and anxiety if you communicate together with your partner.
7. Forget negative experiences in the past
You might be hesitant to possess sex if you’ve got had bad experiences with it in the past. It is commonplace if you fail to perform it with full vigor the primary time and sometimes it improves with time. It is therefore advisable to chase away all the negative experiences from the past.
8. Be open with your partner
Talking together with your partner about your anxiety can help ease a number of your worries. When you attempt to reach an answer together, you will draw closer as a few and improve your relationship.
9. Get intimate in other ways
Learn how to be intimate without sexual intercourse. Give your partner a sensual massage or take a warm bath together. Take turns pleasing one another with masturbation so you do not always need to feel pressured to perform sexually.
Exercise not only does understand cause you to feel better about your body, but it also improves your stamina in bed.
10. Distract yourself
Put on some romantic music or a horny movie while you create love. Think about something that turns you on. Taking your mind off your sexual performance can remove the concerns that stop you from getting excited.
Question related to having sex for the first time.
1. Does first-time sex hurt?
This question varies from person to person. Some feel it’s painful but some feel it awkward and uncomfortable and even some people get bled due to it. So if someone scares you by telling you that it includes a lot of pain, don’t believe them because you are different from one another and it shouldn’t matter if you want to have fun with your partner.
2. Will I know what to do the first time I have sex?
To get a hold of your own body, give some time to yourself. Start by exploring your own body with yourself first as you will come to know what areas you like to get touched and what you don’t.
3. What if sex doesn’t feel good at first? Does that mean I hate it?
Don’t worry about it because it depends on factors like your mood, your day at work. Don’t try to force something give time and you will see the result if it doesn’t feel good at first but you did realize what you feel so don’t worry BE YOURSELF and no it doesn’t mean if you don’t feel good then you hate it.
4. Am I supposed to pee after having sex?
This depends on the gender. For females it’s important to pee after the intercourse in the 15min as it will clean your urethra as it will make the chance low for you having UTI. Men should wait for 15-20 min and then urinate and clean up body fluid with a wet towel or tissue once they are done with it. Maintain hygiene, pause your cuddles for a min and wash your hand, and stuff like that.
Finally, take it easy on yourself. Don’t beat yourself up about your appearance or ability in bed. Get help for sexual performance anxiety so you can get back to having a healthy and enjoyable sex life.