The term “sex positive” can be interpreted in different ways. For most, it involves having positive attitudes about sex and feeling comfortable with one’s own sexual identity and with the sexual behaviors of others.
Sex positive people tend to have the following traits:
- They are open to learning more about sex and sexual activity. They try to understand their bodies, partners’ bodies, and all of the physical, emotional, and psychological aspects of intimacy. If they have questions about sex, they feel comfortable asking.
- They understand the importance of safe sex for themselves and their partners. Safe sex can include discussing sexual histories, using condoms, and being tested for sexually-transmitted infections (STIs) like HIV. It can also include emotional and psychological safety, such as supporting a partner with sexual dysfunction or one with a history of sexual abuse.
- They consider sex to be a healthy part of life that should be enjoyed. For sex positive people, sex can be discussed without shame or awkwardness. It is not a taboo subject.
- They acknowledge that sometimes they won’t want to have sex and that partners might not want to have sex with them.
- They accept others’ sexual practices, as long as the participants consent and feel safe, without moral judgment. This means accepting sexual behaviors that might be different from their own, such as having many partners, engaging in threesomes, or swapping marital partners.
Sex positivity is when sex is a positive thing in someone’s life. It is the idea that people should have space to embody, explore and learn about their sexuality and gender without judgement or shame.
This also means accepting others’ sexual orientations and lifestyles without judgment.
Sex negativity, on the other hand, is basically just human nature. If you haven’t worked hard or are working hard to become sex positive, very high chances are that you are sex negative. The fault isn’t yours, and it’s just how our societies work.
{Sex negativity assumes that human sexuality is inherent:}
Dirty
Dangerous
Disgusting
Unnatural
Uncontrollable
Harmful
Risky
Sex positivity does not come from you engaging in sexual activities. It comes from you believing in sexualities and not judging someone else for whatever their sexuality may be.
Pro Tip: Being sex positive might also help you stay away from the “gali ke aunties” gossip.
Here are a few tips that can help you be sex positive:
- Always be patience: hear them out, don’t make judgements, don’t make comments/ taunts.
- Be committed: to becoming sex positive.
- Give it time: don’t expect change overnight.
- Bravery: it takes a lot of courage to disagree with the population but doesn’t give in.
- Dedication: choose to always react to something in a sex positive manner. Dedicate yourself to sex positivity till you absolutely believe in it.
Being sex positive can be complicated. For example, some sexual behavior’s may not align with a person’s cultural and religious values. Or, a person might have experienced sexual trauma in the past. Such trauma can be difficult to discuss and make that person feel anxious and frightened in sexual situations.
Overall, however, the concept of being sex positive involves understanding your own sexuality and what it means for you and your relationships.
According to Ayurveda, sex is as fundamental for humans as food and sleep. It is a natural drive and sexual health is essential not just for the wellbeing of the individual, but the strength of the society as well.
An understanding of our dosha and how it affects our sexuality can enhance the role that sex plays in our life and relationships. We should also know and understand our partners’ dosha, as this awareness will help us meet their needs, guide how we stimulate and seduce them, and help us remain patient and empathetic when our sexual encounters don’t live up to our expectations.
Vata person: As per Ayurveda, they indulge least in sex. They generally suffer from problems like dry yoni, premature ejaculation, and low libido because of their vata dominant dosha. Orgasms usually lead to depletion of their energy sources. But that doesn’t mean sex is not important for them. It’s only that their way to satisfying sex life is different.
Since they are creative, romantic and sensual, to keep them satisfied, one needs to focus on foreplay and love more, than the actual act of intercourse. Since they are creative and have low libido, adding creativity to sex life, like having sex in an unusual place, can turn them on. Staying hydrated and having juicy fruits and ghee also helps them in their sexual functioning.
Pitta person: They are the passionate, fiery lovers but lack reliability and patience. Their sexual desires are always on fire so matching their feisty spirit might be a little difficult. If a pitta person can channelise his sexual energy not only through his sex organs but also through his heart, then he can become the perfect lover in bed. Since they tend to enjoy and indulge in more sex than the other doshas. It helps a Pitta person to cool off their excessive sexual desires to manage a perfect balance in bed and in life.
Kapha person: They are sensual and the perfect partners when it comes to marriage or sex. They are generally nurturing, hardworking, balanced and determined. They initially might be reluctant to indulge in sexual activities due to their reserved nature, but once convinced or coaxed, they can handle much sex. Since they face an initial reluctance in getting involved in sexual activities, it’s imperative to keep their sexual fires burning to help them enjoy and indulge in good sex. Further, avoiding fatty foods and following a good exercise routine also helps a Kapha person to have a healthy sex life.
Have patience and compassion in adapting to your partner’s desires, treat your partner with care as the two of you learn about each other’s doshic biorhythms, and then find the balance that works for you both.
Ayurveda is more discerning in its view and sees orgasms as depleting to rasa and reproductive fluids. It’s like having a glass of wine at night vs a bottle- a little can be an excellent way to relax and reduce stress, but a lot gives you a hangover, leaving you depleted and feeling like shit. So, excess of sexual behavior should be avoided.
One herb that can be used, albeit with caution, is Neem. I say with caution because Neem dries out our sexual fluids, so should be used mindfully lest we cause unintended side effects. You can try a ¼ tsp in the mornings and progress from there. Following a strictly vegetarian, satvic diet can also help reduce excessive flames of desire. Understand that it’s always good to take experts help as self-medication can be harmful with unwanted side effects.
Thus, understanding of oneself sexuality and partners sexual behavior do help a person to be sex positive and here ayurveda plays a key role to keep sexual wellbeing and harmony of the bodily dosha. This in turn provides body with benefits like good mental health, good immunity, great relationship etc.
If you find any difficulty regarding your sex life, feel free to ask for help with an expert.
You can also contact me on my private chat or directly in my clinic. We can send you the medicines by courier.
Call on 9004393978 or fill in the below form to book an appointment with our specialists.
